Years ago, there was an outbreak in the city. A fiber. Yours was young, arrogant. I believe I could cure everyone. I worked myself to the bone. I made a mistake, Zainab. A calculation error in a dye. I didn’t kill a stranger. I killed the provincial governor’s daughter. A girl no older than you.
Zainab felt the air leave the room.
“They didn’t just strip me of my title,” Yusha continued, her voice breaking. “They burned my house down. They declared me dead to the world. I became a beggar because it was the only way to disappear. I went to the mosque, seeking a way to die slowly. But then your father arrived. He spoke of a daughter who was ‘useless.’ A daughter who was a ‘curse.’”
He pressed his hands against her face. She felt the dampness of his tears; not her own, but his.
I didn’t take you because they paid me, Zainab. I read you because when I described you, they told me we were the same. We both wandered into ghosts. I thought… I thought that if I could protect you, if I could see the world through my words, then I could recover my soul. But it makes me fall in love with the ghost. And that was never part of the plan.
Zainab was paralyzed. The betrayal was there, yes—the lie of his identity—but it was wrapped in a much more painful truth. He was not a beggar by destiny; he was a beggar by choice, a man who lived in a self-imposed purgatory.
—The fire —she whispered—. Aminah ha parlato di un incendio.
“My past burns,” he said. “I have nothing left of this man, Zainab. Only the knowledge of how to heal. I’ve been treating the sick in the village at night, in secret. That’s where the extra money comes from. I bought your medicine last week.”
Zainab reached out, her fingers trembling, as she traced the contours of her beak. She encountered the bridge of her nose, the eyes, the moisture of her eyes. He wasn’t the monster her girlfriend had described. He was a man destroyed by his own humanity, trying to mend it with his own.
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